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copy editor mode… postponed

Welp, I went through and reread old posts that I’d published from my phone. Two things that annoy me —

1. Photos are in reverse order.

I suppose it’s kind of deconstructed to show the result and then the steps for how I got there, especially with the cooking photos… but it feels weird. I will let this sit and if it still bothers me in a week then I’ll edit. But I think I can get used to this… and also learn that wordpress posts in reverse order from the numbering system it purports to use :/

2. Lots of typos! Lots of autocorrect! Augh. This bothers me MUCH more as a former copy editor. And I will definitely correct them.

… Just… not now. Not when I have a bigger post of new feelings and thoughts. So it’s on my list but I also recognize in a self-care way that I don’t have to do it now. It’s really a relief to have this voice on self-care in my head now. ❤

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Korean study… hits a Korean wall

LOL. I’d been doing really well in Korean self study. Memorized like 500 new words! Got a couple of books that covered the gap between intermediate and advanced. 

It’s a known thing here that the jump from intermediate to advanced is tough. Why? Bc most books are focused on the beginner levels. By the time you are comfy with intermediate, they assume you need the high powered advanced level… never mind the fact that intermediate is it’s own level…  

For example, in the set I was using before, I already knew 1/2 of the words in the intermediate books.  But when I opened the advanced books, I knew *none* of the words. Or maybe 1 in 10. A far cry from knowing 1/2… and also the book jumped to giving a word and all of its 5-6 different meanings. Whoa, that’s a lot to handle in self-study!
So I found a couple of books to bridge that gap. Yay and hooray. I was happy. I plugged along in the noun section and memorized and memorized and memorized. Reading newspaper articles became possible, woot. 

And then I got to the verb section. And strangely… my brain had a really hard time parsing and memorizing Korean verbs. It is SO MUCH EASIER to parse and get to be root term and therefore memorize Korean words based on Chinese characters. 

So now my memorizing is slow and frustrating. I get words mixed up a lot. It’s disheartening. But of course I continue. I am on #7 of the word cards!!

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Tapped into The Source

Today was a great day of tarot readings!  I was popping and dead on accurate.  So fantastic to get affirmation and confirmation of the messages that come.  This happened over and over again today, from the smallest things (like the number of international trips a client had planned for the summer) to the bigger things (like a big work project coming up in the next month).

Funny thing: I wanted to do a full “reach to Spirit ritual” before starting the readings.  The same ritual I do for myself before doing daily draws and self-readings.

But my ancestors insisted that I did not need to do the Big Ritual.

So I didn’t.

And then the readings came out flowing like water and blood.  So smooth and easy; I was tapped into The Source and telling the stories that my clients needed to hear — from the first stories so they trusted me and then the deeper stories to empower them.

My ancestors wanted me to experience how I can be connected and intuitive and full of 신기 even without the Big Ritual.

Now it’s a lesson I’ve truly learned.  I don’t need the Big Ritual to tap into my psychic power.  I don’t.  And that … really… reassures me.  That this spirit work is my right path.  That it does not have to be such a struggle.  That it does not take super-duper effort and work.

I mean, my ancestors told me earlier today — to reinforce the message that I don’t need to make offerings to them to connect with my 신기.

Not as I needed to before.  Before I needed to do that because I did not trust in my psychic power.  I needed the reassurance that it was coming from outside of me, from my ancestors and helping spirits and from their boost to my Connection to Spirit.  But I know now that I don’t need that.  I needed it before, like in December; but I don’t need it now.

And so it is with my Big Ritual.

My ancestors and helping spirits are super connected to me now.  I don’t need the Big Ritual to call upon them to help me when I give tarot readings now.  Now I can just tap into Spirit as me, without the super Big Ritual.  I just do the standard to shield from negative spirits (I call upon 고모 to shield me) and to ground (I call upon 도깨비 and the earth to ground me).  And then I read.

This is reassuring because philosophically I don’t believe that it should be difficult.  So getting this affirmation feeds me and tells me that I’m on the right path.  It flows like butter because I am on the right path.  And I am so grateful.  So very very grateful.

Thank you, Universe.  Thank you, ancestors and helping spirits.  Thank you, earth.