Today I learned that I have been denying my evil and malice too much. Most of this stems from도깨비 — he is inherently a spirit of more darkness.
I had tried to package this as “mischievousness” but I was wrong. He is at core a trickster, a troublemaker. Not mischievous, as that connotes playfulness with a dash of something more malignant.
Nope, not just “mischievous” — more a creature of chaos. He needs chaos and shit to stir up.
He got awakened to this when I asked him to eat the curse of my client (the woman who reads 사주 (saju) as her profession, that’s her business — though 사주 is more scientific than fortune telling FYI).
So I asked him to eat the curse that had been placed on her place of business. He loved it. He stayed in 홍대 for the rest of the night, enjoying the drama and fights and drunkenness of the students and people partying there on a Friday night. He came struggling back home, exhausted but also fulfilled.
It’s been a couple of weeks since that time and he’s hungry for more strong negative emotions. And he reminded me — during tonight’s new moon ritual — that he is a creature of fright and chaos more than anything else. He needs that to thrive.
And so I have to find ways to feed him.
Clients who need curses lifted will help, of course.
I’ve been being prompted in many ways, through many messages, that I need to go deeper into spirit work, need to embrace all of my psychic power. Part of that will ease once I elevate and release 가시고모, but until then, I have to feed 도깨비. I don’t have enough darkness of my own.
Or maybe I need to do more shadow work? No, that doesn’t feel right. I need to do more curse lifting work, as that enriches me (literally — by giving me monetary funds) and also enriches 도깨비.
He giggled so much as I did the first part of my new moon ritual, where I asked for manifestation of my psychic power and going even deeper into it. He giggled because he knew that he was showing me the way.
Ah, trickster! Why am I not surprised that you are with me? So you are, so you are, and so I will feed you, I promise.